(sung to the tune of “Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer”)
Rudy, the old-time troller,
Hated electronic gear.
He did not trust depictions
Not made by an eye or ear.
All of the other trollers,
Peering at their laptop screens,
They all considered Rudy’s
Predilections full of beans.
Then one night of woeful gale,
“Rude,” the trollers pled,
“We come to you beckoning,
Won’t you use dead reckoning?”
So Rudy led the trollers
Through the worst of Dead Boat Pass,
But when they went to thank him,
He said “Kiss my GPS!”